Friday, March 15, 2019

Sissy By Birth But Also By Choice

I've shared elsewhere a few times that my sissy seeds were sown as a toddler, but it took until my teens for those seeds to germinate and begin to grow. I'm proud to be a sissy submissive. There is no shame at all. And with each passing year, what was a part of me from somewhere in the very beginning, is reinforced by choice daily when I observe certain behaviours in the BDSM world.

It certainly is an occupational hazard for Dommes to deal with creeps, time wasters, and people who have some rather sizable instabilities about themselves and/or others. When I see and hear of such instances, it makes my skin crawl that I was once a lowly male subbie once with likely far too many traits in common as those Dommes complain about and are forced to deal with. A large part of wanting to tap into and nourish my sissy side was to move away from that stagnant pond of submissives.

I'd like to think that for the most part, a sissy sub is a more evolved creature, and via our much higher level of vulnerabilities, we are forced to discard the worst of the despised behaviors of those that Dommes truly despise and are forced to suffer at times.  It's that choice to be better and find acceptance within the Womanly safe spaces of a Domme's good graces that motivates me to be as good, loyal, obedient, and well mannered sissy as I can be towards any Domme or Woman.

Just this week, Lady Diva shared an episode of a male cretin She has had to suffer repeatedly, and it made me so damn angry. You can read Her blog post here :

When you understand that there are people out there who seem it to make it their personal selfish mission to make a Domme's life uncomfortable and or miserable, it's incumbent on us who know better to make our interactions with those Dommes as pleasant and respectful as possible. Employing the simple manners we were all taught at children will go a long way in this world of BDSM, believe me!  I often get asked questions by other sissy gurls, such as " how did you get so lucky to meet so and so, or serve this Domme or that Domme..."  and in all honesty it starts with manners, respect, and an understanding that we as subbies are one of a sea of many. Think of a Domme as a boat that sails into the waters of a shipwreck of subbies and wannabe subbies all thrashing about, looking to crawl into Her boat. That is truly what a Domme has to deal with daily. 

My experience is this; if you wish to establish a friendly rapport with a Domme or wish to truly serve Her? Be polite. Be respectful. Perhaps most importantly: BE PATIENT.

Your time, place and status all have to be EARNED. If you truly have submissive tendencies that have yet to be nourished, then start with manners. Don't be selfish, don't be a jerk, and realize that for whatever reason, if a Domme does not connect with you or interact with you, then She didn't sense from you what connects with Her and THAT's OK. There are many others that may be a better fit for what you may be looking for.

Yes, I have truly been blessed to be able to call some amazing Dommes a friend, or at least an aquaintence in some fashion, be it real or online, and I cherish each interaction.  yet there are some Dommes who I truly admire, who have inspired me to better things, where I have tried to obtain a similar special relationship and I have not received Their special gifts of friendship. If I were to get all surly and pissy about that, then I'd be nothing but a selfish asshole!  Instead, I simply continue being me, being respectful, and honoring Them in nice ways, in the hopes to stand out among the vast seas of survivors as someone worthy of Their time.  And sometimes I've had to quietly move on.

Femdomination is full of amazing, life altering gifts, but like all gifts in life, you have to be humble to receive their true value, otherwise it is often wasted. Don't be a waste. Choose to be valuable to Her, then prove it as often as you can.



  1. Thank you Devina Cox, hope your testimony will put some sense on those wannabe subs that simply don't understand their role as a sub, I just can't imagine what jerks they are in "real" life when they simply don't have decorum to present themselves before "Us"

  2. When a sub says "we did not connect" there is only 2 explanations to it : "he is not a submissive at all" and "does not understand his role as a submissive"

  3. i would respectfully disagree somewhat. i think there can be instances where the energy of those involved just don't sync or moreso definitely do not sync. i experienced this once with a Domme early on and it was very disappointing because I had hoped that it would and it felt very disjointed. Like many things in life there are fits and not